Last month, at the risk of sounding like Ebenezer Scrooge, I posted an unusual status update on Facebook: "I'm working on a column, and I'd like to know what you like least about Christmas."

To my surprise, more than 45 friends and colleagues jumped in to express their disappointment in the holiday. The majority listed routines that are now synonymous with Christmas: shopping and overspending; baking and overeating; mailing bundles of cards; wrapping countless gifts; entertaining estranged relatives. As one working mom put it, "I resent the pressure to make merry when what I'm really feeling is broke and exhausted."

Others told me they felt sad because Christmas "has lost its religious meaning." A few sent private messages detailing their grief and loss – poignant stories of broken families, job loss and empty chairs at their holiday dinner tables.

Cynthia Gray-Howey, a psychotherapist at Royal Oak's Eastwood Community Clinic, isn't surprised. 

"Commercialism has a big impact on people's emotions," Gray-Howey told me. "We're inundated with ads for the perfect Christmas with the perfect family, which most of us don't have, because perfection is impossible. But people try to live up to these impossible standards, and it results in depression. It's like watching Ozzie and Harriet and realizing that your family doesn't look or act like that."

Reclaim the joy of giving

There were times when holiday stress poisoned my own attitude like a hangover after an office party.  But 10 years ago, after reading several articles on how to celebrate a giftless Christmas, my husband and I decided to stop feeding the commercial Christmas monster.  

First, we asked our extended families if they'd be willing to make contributions to charities in lieu of buying random gift certificates, cologne or golf sweaters. (One exception: We'd still give small presents to the children.) Everyone was open to the idea – and genuinely relieved.

Next step: We decided each family or individual could donate money to one favorite charity or divide it between several. Considering everyone's budget, we also agreed to announce which organizations would benefit, but not the amount of our donations. In short, it was a neatly wrapped solution to the old "what-to-buy-for-the-relatives" dilemma and I'm happy to report it's now a family tradition.

Meanwhile, southeast Michigan's troubled economy "hasn't spared the nonprofit community," said Brett Tillander, chief professional officer of the Boys & Girls Clubs of South Oakland County. More than ever, it's crucial for donors to invest locally, Tillander said.

Supporters of the local Boys & Girls Club, for example, are investing in the youth of our community "and that investment will pay immeasurable dividends for decades to come," he added. Furthermore, as Tillander points out, those who donate to charity at the end of the year can still take advantage of tax-deductable gift giving while also supporting the causes that are most important to them.

Memorials and pet causes

It shouldn't be hard to locate a charity or nonprofit organization that speaks to your heart. Start by making a list of causes you advocate, then find out where you can fill a need.

I've always counted "home" among my blessings, for instance, so I make holiday contributions to organizations serving the homeless in our community.  The South Oakland Shelter (SOS) and the Welcome Inn day shelter are among them.  Likewise, my family also supports the American Diabetes Association. Because my late father was diabetic, our donation is another way to honor Dad's memory.

The Royal Oak Animal Shelter is another pet cause (pardon the pun) and I have a little fun with this one. Along with my donation I enclose an annual Christmas letter – an expression of gratitude from our cats, Jack and Emma, who were fostered by the shelter before we adopted them. Sometimes I include a photo of the two and the folks at the Shelter seem to get a kick out of it.

That said, charitable giving doesn't have to be limited to popping a check in the mail. Even if you're short on cash, consider volunteering your time. Ring bells for the Salvation Army, deliver toys to families in need, or roll up your sleeves and serve meals at a soup kitchen.

I realize all of this might seem like an economic sacrilege, especially at a time when retail sales depend heavily on our wallets. I'll be the first to tell you to head downtown and "buy local" if you're shopping for tangible goods to wrap.

Still, I promise that giving to charity is the very best present you can give yourself. You'll feel the incomparable lift of having made things a little better for someone in need. Which is a surefire way to banish the holiday blues and rekindle your Christmas spirit.