If you live in an old house in Oakland County, chances are you've survived at least one heavy-duty remodeling project.

I’m talking about the sort of project that leaves plaster dust in your toothbrush and knocks you out of your comfort zone for weeks.

As I type this, the bathroom on the second floor of our 85-year-old English Tudor is completely gutted. There’s a tile guy dragging a large bucket of mud up the stairs and a carpenter drilling through a wall above me. Meanwhile, a giant shop vac has taken up residence in the hallway, which is littered with enough tools to supply a satellite store for Frentz & Sons Hardware .

But my Shrine-area neighbors will vouch for the fact that this project is child’s play compared to the "extreme makeover" our family endured 15 years ago. I'm referring to the hellacious nine months it took to gut and remodel our kitchen while we added a new sunroom and an attached garage. (Believe anyone who tells you that a remodeling project can drag on as long as a pregnancy and seem twice as painful as childbirth.)

Even so, I haven't lost my passion for restoring old houses. Over the years, in fact, I've found that the whole process of remodeling is loaded with valuable lessons in character-building. Here are just a few:

1. Acceptance brings inner peace.

There are things about my old house – just as there are things about my middle-aged body – that simply can’t be altered or fixed. It is what it is.

Our master bathroom, for example, is small by modern standards. Even my architect-husband had a tough time redesigning the space to accommodate a slightly larger shower and additional cabinets. So we’re aiming to make the best of what we’ve got.

As every old-house owner – and middle-aged woman – will tell you, the word “character” glosses over a multitude of flaws and imperfections. I use it freely.

2. Expect surprises and setbacks.

One remodeling project typically begets another. Case in point: Three days after the plumber started working on our bathroom, my husband discovered a small river of water wending its way through our dining room ceiling, down the wall and across the floor.

At first, we assumed the water was evidence of a roof leak caused by the previous night’s thunderstorm. But further investigation led to the discovery of a glitch in the new plumbing.  So, in addition to a new bathroom, we’re getting a new dining room ceiling in the bargain.

3. Attitude is everything.

It’s not easy to be cheerful when your private sanctuary is invaded by strangers wearing tool belts. But whenever I find myself living in a construction zone, I keep the coffee pot full and make every effort to get along with the crew. When I treat them with respect, they take better care of my home.

Luckily, the guys who are working on our bathroom always arrive on time and start the day's work in good spirits. They remind me that positive energy and a wacky sense of humor -- can brighten a room faster than a fresh coat of paint.

“It’s another day in paradise!” chirps the tile guy when he greets me each morning. Despite the mess he stirs up with his mud and grout, it’s hard to stay annoyed at him.

4. Don’t start cleaning till the last carpenter leaves.

Some things in life are never in our control. Construction debris is one of them. If you’re a compulsive neat freak, plan to leave town during your remodeling project – and don’t come back until it’s finished.

During the aforementioned nine-month kitchen makeover, I fell into the daily routine of cleaning up after the workers. It was a total waste of my time. I’ve since learned it’s easier to ignore the mayhem and clean only what’s essential to personal hygiene until the job wraps up. Which brings me to the next lesson.

5. It ain’t over till the last workman leaves.

Never judge a remodeling project until it’s practically finished. Cabinets look less intrusive once they're installed; paint colors look richer after the second coat. In other words, things really do have a way of working out.

And while I’m on the subject: Have you noticed that when a neighbor starts remodeling the exterior of his home, everyone in the ‘hood is suddenly an architecture critic? Before the project is even halfway finished, opinions abound on everything from the size of the neighbor’s new addition to the texture of the new brick pavers in the poor guy's driveway.

I advise these critics to wait until their neighbor’s project is completed before they complain to City Hall or submit a review to Architectural Record.  

6. Chaos is part of the creative process. Bear with it.

“All human wisdom is summed up in two words – wait and hope,” wrote French writer Alexandre Dumas Pere. I’m sure he was in the middle of a remodeling project when he came up with that line.

The point is, transformation of any kind is disruptive. Sometimes you have to shake up the old order of things before you can welcome the new – whether you're making a major career shift, trying to lose 30 pounds or remodeling your bathroom. 

In the meantime, it helps to stay focused on your desired outcome and to overlook the upheaval. The end result is worth it, I promise.

Cindy La Ferle's award-winning Royal Oak story collection, Writing Home, is available on Amazon.com. For more information, visit Cindy La Ferle's Home Office.