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Health & Fitness

The Next Generation: Good Young People Make It Hard to Be Cynical

One of my favorite parts about writing this column is not only do I get to tell a lot of stories, but readers also send good stories my way.  One of the reasons I remain resolutely optimistic in the face of life's travails is you get a naturally cumulative effect when hearing stories of grace, good will and courage. There's just a lot of really good stuff going on out there in our daily lives. I believe that these everyday beautiful displays of kindness, concern and stand-up-and-be-counted actions are the core of who we are as a society. I do believe that a very small percentage of louses can wreak havoc on the rest of us. But if we, in our everyday lives, follow whatever golden rules we were brought up to believe, we cannot be brought down as a culture.

What doubles the impact is to hear how the next generation is adding to the cause.  There's a lot of energy spent studying what each generation is like and the differences between generations. My observation is that in spite of what often seems like a gulf of differences, the bridge becomes parents that bring their kids up with good manners and trusted values like: treat your neighbor like you'd be like to be treated. 

Take Mary Lou for example.  Mary Lou McClatchie grew up attending Catholic schools and fell in love with a public school kid named Mick McLean.  What happens when you mix a Mary Lou, a Mickey, a McClatchie and a McLean?  Well, for starters, you get Irish kids. Mary Lou and Mick's kids are Kevin, Jackie and Julie and they raised them well. Mary Lou wanted to keep them close and with the wisdom of an Irish mother, (or Polish, Indonesian, Kenyan, German...you get the idea) her motto is, "Cook for them and they'll come." 

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She did and they have! 

As anyone who has kids that are grown up, you pray that when your children fall in love, that they bring someone into the family that has the same values as your family.  With son Kevin's wedding to Katie Smith, those prayers were answered. Katie and Kevin McLean had a beautiful wedding, but one important player was missing, her grandmother, 99 year old Lois "Nana" Smith. 

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Nana may be closing in on 100, but she has retained her vitality and charm and her storytelling is still intact, reminding her son Rick (Katy's dad) that when Katy was born and she urged him to hold his newborn, he fidgeted and squirmed before announcing, "I'd like to, but I don't know how!"

Nana's warm laugh is used often including when she queries her in-laws with, "Mick and Mary Lou; you're Irish, so why aren't you wearing green?"     

By all accounts, she's a special lady and was heartbroken when on Kevin and Katie's big day, she just couldn't muster the energy to make the wedding. But the young couple made both sets of parents proud by bringing the wedding to Nana, just a couple of days later. 

Kevin, apparently striving for an early nomination to the In-law Hall of Fame, suggested to his new bride that they bring flowers to Katie's Nana. Here's how Mary Lou described how Katie took it a step further.

"I have to share a most tender, tear filled experience I was privileged to experience. Yesterday my wonderful, new daughter-in-law and her two beautiful sisters put back on their gorgeous wedding gowns to show their ninety-nine year old Nana, a beautiful woman herself. While she may not hear or even see very well, even with her limited senses, she embraced each of her granddaughters, touching their smiling faces and gracefully running the fabric of their gowns over and over and through her fingers.

Nana was overjoyed by the moment and through her tears told each of her grand-daughters how much she loved them and how perfectly beautiful they each were. In that moment, Nana didn't need her sight or hearing, she saw with her heart. And that my dear friends, is what it's all about!"

Well said, Mary Lou. That is what it's all about. While congratulations are in order to the very thoughtful bride and groom, I also want to congratulate Katie's sisters, Alli and Emily for their part in this tender story, but also to their parent's, Rick Smith and Karen Smith and the McLean's. You raised some fine children into terrific young people. Congratulations: That's what it’s all about too!

But wait, there's another story!

I've known Jim Tomasycki since 1960 when we were first graders in Sister Mary Leo's class. It took us a while to formally meet since the 50 kids in the class were arranged alphabetically and I was in the first seat of row one and Jim was about two counties away in the last row. Jim is, has been and always will be a fun and funny guy. He's had a storied life from an early rock-god career, to being the proud parent of four children with his wife Kathy. How can you not love a guy who shows up at your first book signing in full Elvis regalia calling himself Jimmy Elvis, my biggest fan?

But Jim is a proud dad too and he told me this story about his son Kyle who was going on his lunch break at a local Meijer when he heard a women scream as he was nearing the door.

"My son Kyle saw a commotion up ahead and someone shouted, 'He's got that ladies purse!

He then noticed a man in a dark leather jacket running through the parking lot and decided that he would intercept him. When he confronted the man who was carrying the purse the alleged perp tried to end round my son but using his high school football tackling skills he brought him down, and then using his wrestling squad skills, he put him in a full-nelson with leg lock. My son is a big guy, over 6'3" and he wrestled his way to Regional wins in the heavy-weight/unlimited category. It wasn't much of a contest."

Before it was all over, there was local newscast team pulling up, but Kyle was satisfied with his role of saving the elderly ladies money. As he put it, "It's no big deal, I was doing what I was supposed to do." 

Sorry to disagree with you, Big Kyle, but it was a big deal. I might add that if you have any problems with me publishing this, please talk to my friend of over 50 years, your dad!

Once again, it's a story of a child raised to be a fine young person, a product of parents, Jim and Kathy, who in addition to being a mom, is a nurse. They are the proud parents of Donna, also a nurse, James, a hardworking butcher and Alan, serving in the U.S. Air Force.

Like I said, it’s hard to be cynical about life when these kinds of stories are playing out in front of us, everyday and everywhere.  And these many fine people will raise kids of their own in the same spirit as their parents and their grandparents.  In this country, they come from all stripes and colors of life, conservative to liberal. They are well-mannered, responsible young people. I find it easy to embrace just about anyone who has good manners, and they all don't look like me.  

We live in a country with audacious problems, but it's filled with great young people and a result, it will continue its greatness.

It's Monday: Let's go!

Gerry Boylan is the author of the novel Getting There and the short story collection Gerry Tales. Both are available at Amazon.com and the Yellow Door in Berkley, MI. 

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